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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
 
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Answers to common questions about hymen and virginity:

The definition that we can find on a dictionary is the following: The state of a man or a woman who never had sexual relations with penetration.

Many people consider that hymen is a mark of female virginity and the non-tearing of the frenulum as a mark of male virginity. In reality, hymens are anatomically very different so it is very difficult to determine if there was penetration or not with a male sex. Indeed, some hymens are very elastic, and do not tear during a sexual relation, and some hymens can tear with fingers or toys penetration or even during a physical traumatism. Therefore, a woman can still consider herself a virgin as long as she did not have sexual relation with penetration of a male sex.

It is the same for man. During masturbation, a man can tear his frenulum whereas he did not have sexual relation with penetration and then he can still consider himself a virgin.

1 – I am a girl of 17 years old and I am still virgin, but not long ago I had a sexual relation without penetration. My boyfriend just rubbed his penis on my vagina (I had my period). I would like to know if I loose my virginity and if there is a way to know if we are still a virgin without going to a gynecologist.

If there was no penetration, you are still virgin. It is very difficult to know if a girl is still a virgin, even with a gynecologic exam, because hymens are anatomically very different from one to another and some woman does have an almost non-existing hymen. Only you can tell if you are still a virgin, or not, because you are the only one who can tell if there was penetration or not.

2- Is there any way of finding out whether a girl is a virgin or not, without going to the doctors?

Girls have a thin membrane that covers the entrance to their vagina called a hymen. This is often broken during first intercourse, so that can be one way of telling. However, the hymen often breaks before then, from horseback riding, a regular gynecological examination or inserting a tampon. The only way of knowing is to ask the girl herself.

3- My boyfriend did not penetrate me with his penis but he inserted his fingers in my vagina. Am I still a virgin?

Yes, you are still virgin because there was not penetration with the penis of your partner. Finger insertion may have torn your hymen however according to the definition of virginity you are still virgin because you did not have sexual relation with penis penetration.

4- My boyfriend told me that I was no virgin because I did not bleed during our first sexual relation, but I know I was a virgin because I never had sex before!!!!

A virgin girl might not bleed during the first sexual relation if her hymen is naturally loose. Tell you boyfriend that you were virgin because you never had sex before.

5- I have been abused when I was younger and I am from a religion that forbidden me to have sexual relation before wedding. Is it possible to “repair” surgically the hymen?

Yes, a little surgical act can give you back your physical virginity.

6- I never had sexual relations and I use tampons during my period. Am I still virgin?

Yes, you are still a virgin if you have not had sexual relation with penis penetration. It is possible that inserting a tampon might tear the hymen, but even if a tampon does tear it, a girl is still a virgin until she has sexual relation with penetration of a penis into her vagina.

7- Hi, I am 27 years old and I am still virgin. My boyfriend told me that if I do not have sexual relations before 30 years old I will have serious problems and it will be difficult for me to give birth and I might died while giving birth. Is it true?

It is wrong. You can stay virgin after 30 years old and when you will have decided to have a baby, you will give birth without more problem than a woman who had lost her virginity at 20 years old.

8- Hello, I would like to know if a penis, about 12 cm ( 5 inches) long could destroy the hymen.

You need to know that as long as there was penetration, whatever the size of the penis, the hymen is torn. The hymen is located at the entrance of the vagina.

9- During sexual rubbing with my boyfriend, he ejaculated at the entrance of my vagina. I am still virgin and there was no penetration, my hymen was not been tear. I would like to know if there is a risk that I might get pregnant.

Yes, there is a risk of pregnancy if your partner did ejaculate at the entrance of your vagina even if there was no penetration and no tearing of the hymen. The hymen is not a impermeable membrane and spermatozoa who are on the hymen can penetrate into the vagina and go toward the uterus.

10- I am 31 and I never had sexual relation, not even a girl friend, however women are very attracted to me, but my lack of experience block me. What can I do?

I think you should talk about it with a psychologist in order to find the origin of your problem, which might help you to solve it.

11- Is it possible to get pregnant even if the hymen is still intact? In fact, the penis was inserted into the vagina but without tearing the hymen.

Yes, there is a risk of pregnancy if there was ejaculation. If you hymen is elastic, the penetration can occur without tearing the hymen, but the risk of getting pregnant is the same if you still have your hymen intact or not.

12 - I am 19 and I am still virgin. For me, it is not a problem because I have been single for a long time and I never had serious relation. However, I am now with a 25 years old boy and he knows nothing about that. I am obviously going to tell him but I do not know how to bring this subject with him. Besides, I can imagine that a boy can find me desirable when I am naked, I never been naked in front of a man. I am completely lost because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend.  

At 19 years old, many girls are still virgins. You are right, it is important to talk to him about it in order that you feel more comfortable the first time you will have a sexual relation with him. Besides, knowing it, he will know that he has to gentle with you the first time. If you do not feel comfortable naked in front of him, you can have your first sexual relation in the dark.

13- Is it true that a man, who does not have a big penis, cannot tear the hymen during sexual relation?

Even with a small penis, the hymen can be torn during a sexual relation with penetration.

14- When I spread my labia apart, I see a membrane (kind of) with two holes. What is it?

It is probably your hymen, which does not cover all the entrance of your vagina. Do not hesitate to see your doctor, for an exam, in order to see exactly what it is.

15- My boyfriend introduced his finger into my vagina and 1h later, I bleed a bit. Am I still virgin or not?

Perhaps, you had a mini defloration, but you can still consider that you are still virgin because there was no penetration with a penis.

16-I am 25, I just had my first sexual relation and I did not bleed, so my partner think that I had sexual relation with a boy before to meet him. Can you explain to him that I am not lying?

It is obvious that not all women bleed during their first sexual relation because the hymen is anatomically very different from one woman to another. Women who have an elastic hymen do not bleed. Therefore, your partner needs to trust you because there is no other way to prove your virginity!

17- I am 17 and I never had sexual relation. I use tampons during my period but sometimes I have some difficulty to insert the tampon into my vagina because I feel like something that is blocking the entrance and sometimes I do not have difficulty. By touching with my finger, I can feel something like a rope surrounded by two holes at the entrance of my vagina. What it is?

You have a hymen open on each side. You can see a gynecologist who will cut the remaining part of your hymen. I advise you to consult him now, because this might be uncomfortable for you during sexual relations.

18- I often have sexual relation with my boyfriend but with no penetration. Sometimes he inserts a finger and he told me that my hymen was deep. I heard that the finger might tear the hymen. Is it true?

Hymen is located just at the entrance of the vagina. By inserting a finger, there is only a small risk for a defloration, but for a girl who have very tight hymen, a defloration can occur. A girl who really wants to keep her hymen intact, it is necessary to avoid all penetration, even with a finger.

19- Hello, I would like to know if girls bleed a lot during the first sexual relation.

No, in general, it bleeds just a bit and it is rare to have a heavy bleeding. Do not worry.