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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
 
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Answers to common questions about sexuality couple and
sexuality problems in a couple:

1- When I do not have an orgasm during a sexual intercourse, should I tell it to my partner or should I simulate an orgasm?

You should never pretend an orgasm but you should explain to your partner that women, unlike men, do not have an orgasm at each sexual intercourse and that without having an orgasm you can still have a lot of pleasure and that you are being completely satisfied with this way of making love.

2- My partner would like to involve me in an orgy and he keeps on saying that I am a square because I do not like the idea, is it normal to want to go for an orgy?

It is neither normal nor abnormal because regarding sexuality nobody should speak of normality (except in the field of perversion). On the other hand, one of the fundamental rules in sexuality is not to force one another; therefore, if you do not want to participate to an orgy you should not do it but explain to your partner why you do not want to.

3- I like to make love a lot, sometimes several times a day, whereas my partner doesn’t as often, and he calls me a nymphomaniac, what do you think of it?

Desire of one varies from one person to another and it is not because your boyfriend does not want to make love as often as you that you are a nymphomaniac! Nymphomania is characterized by the fact that the desire for sexual intercourse exists with any partner, without any relationship, in order to satisfy a permanent sexual frustration, which involves an uncontrollable sexual instinct.

4- My partner wants us to watch porn movies to excite us and it disgusts me, am I the only one in this case?

You are not the only one in this case and some women have repulsion for porn movies. Watching porn movies will have a contrary effect and will likely disgust them of sex.

5- My partner who does not want a child now, makes me take the pill but I find that the pill decreases the desire for sexual intercourse, is this usual?

No, it is not usual and the pill had never decreased the desire for sexual intercourse, on the contrary, it stops a woman’s fear of being pregnant and therefore gives to that woman a more open out sexuality and thus more desire! I think that in your case, you want a child and as your partner does not, you are punishing him for refusing you this pregnancy. It is really a shame to punish both of you in your sexuality before starting a pregnancy, which would be even more fulfilling if you both wanted it.

6- We have big problems about getting along in our couple and I believe that having a child could save our couple? 

I do not believe so because experience shows that a pregnancy never sorts out a marriage, on the contrary! First, sort out your problems within your couple and only after that, you will be able to plan to have a child who then will be born within a harmonious and non-conflicting relationship, which is a situation definitely more favorable for the development of a baby.

7- For a few months, my partner has wanted to sodomize me, I find that disgusting and I wonder if he has not become homosexual? 

It is a phantasm of the majority of men to sodomize their partner and that has nothing to do with the risk of becoming homosexual. If you find it too disgusting, tell your partner that if he loves you he must understand that sodomy is not acceptable for you. Nevertheless, be assured that this practice is rather frequent and is not "disgusting".

8- My partner has many phantasms and he would like me to take part in the realization of some of them, do I have to accept? 

There is one great principle in sexology, which is never force one another. According to this principle, you do not have to accept what your partner imposes you. On the other hand, if you think that your participation in the realization of his phantasms will reinforce your mutual love and that this act does not appear particularly difficult or psychologically disturbing for you, then why refuse it? If this act seems psychologically disturbing for you, refuse it because this is likely to have a blocking effect on your sexuality and it can be harmful to the love that you feel for your partner.

9- My partner needs to treat me in a very vulgar way in order to get more aroused, and he asks me to tell him obscene things, is it normal?

Some men like to use vulgar words during a sexual intercourse, some women do too and that increases their arousal. You should not take offence. Your partner is undoubtedly a very polite man with you in everyday life and that is the most important.

10- How to caress my partner? What are the general principles to caress properly a woman?

Talk about the art of caresses would need an entire book about it. However here some general principles that you should always have in mind:

Caresses that you like are not, inevitably, the same caresses that your partner likes!

Caresses should include all the body of your partner and not be limited to the breast and the sex.

You should always start the caresses at the level of the less erotic parts of the body before to move to the breast and sex, which are very sensitive parts.

Moving from the less sensitive to the most sensitive areas (the most erogenous areas such as breasts and sex) should be done only when the excitation is becoming quite strong. Caresses art is principally the art to know to move gently "crescendo" 

Pay attention to the desires of your partner, ask her what she likes and what she doesn't like, because the caresses that she likes can be different from the caresses that another woman can like and can be even less the one that you can think to be the best for her!

11- We have two young kids and since the birth of the last one, 2 years ago, my wife does not find any more time for some cuddles between ourselves. She says that she is tired because of her work, the housekeeping and the taking care of the kids. She says that she loves me and that she still desires me. However, when it is time to go to bed, she only thinks about sleeping. What should I do, because this situation cannot stay like that?

The first thing to do would be to give her a hand with the housework and with the kids in order to release her from all these tasks. You could like that take half an hour every night to meet again, to talk and for some cuddles even if those do not finish with a sexual intercourse. You need to find time every day for your couple because if you do not feel well in the actual context (your wife might as well), you will quickly feel bad in your relationship and this might lead to a separation. You definitely need to take half an hour every day, to meet again with your wife, alone without the kids, in order to restore a communication at the emotional, sensual and erotic level. Find some free time is to choose to give up some of your time on another activity (TV, reading or other).

12- Married since a year I have some difficulty to accept that my husband watches regularly some porn web sites (several times a week) whereas he says to me that he is satisfied of our sexual relations. What do you think of it? Is it normal?

The man eroticism is more visual than the one of women, hence the attraction of men for porn web sites. Your husband can love you, be sexually satisfy with you, and in top of that, he can watch porn web sites. Do not worry, you should talk with him about it and tell him that you could not accept that this would be to the detriment of your couple sexuality. If this type of web sites does not disturb you , you could watch sometimes with your partner some erotic web sites, which could have the consequences to stimulate your sexual desire!

13- I am in couple since 3 years and, since ever, my partner masturbate while watching porn movies and pictures of naked girls. Is there a link between this and the fact that he refuses to caress my vagina, so I never have orgasm... (One time out of 15). I feel a bit ashamed, and I have told him, but he did not change anything. I have nothing against the fact that he watches porn movies etc... However, sex with him is very dull. When I talk to him about that, he gets angry. What do you think about it? 

You should not be ashamed of asking your partner to caress you, moreover he should think of it by himself! You are right to not be against the fact that your partner watches porn movies, because men have eroticism more visual, but you should make understand to your partner that this shouldn't happen to the detriment of your couple sexuality. It cannot be tolerable, for one of the partners, that the sexuality couple is turned away to the only satisfaction of the other.